ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
