What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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