from now on my penis is your penis
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think my moral compass just broke
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
