Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
