it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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