in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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