well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Are we still banned from the library?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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