where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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