I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
