I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
