My hair reeks of homosexuality.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
