I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Randomize
