Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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