There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
