I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
