booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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