her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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