that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize