They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize