i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
