I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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