ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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