it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
