How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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