question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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