I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
