don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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