Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
