i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
