you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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