u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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