I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
