My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
