we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
