Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
