I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
