It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
