people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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