.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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