I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
