I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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