we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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