I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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