just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
