And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
i think my cat just said my name.
Who died my cat blue again?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
