I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
