youre lurking in front of me
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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