There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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