my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
How's work?
Spinning.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
