he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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