That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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