In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
