I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
