I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
