i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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