Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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