I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
