I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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