Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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